Well, folks, it’s time to wrap up “El Santo vs. The Vampire Women” month. I reckon that, by now, you’re downright sick of any ladies with pointy canine. You are very tempted to wash out your mouth with listerine because you can almost taste the hemoglobin. You are tempted to say, “Santo, vampire women suck! And that is totally not a pun about them being vampires … or a double entendre, for that matter!”
Such is the menace of the vampire women. Their powers warp the minds of mere mortals.
In case you’re just tuning in, here’s a list of webcomics featuring vampire women that I covered in the month of October:
- Eerie Cuties – vampire schoolgirls have all the fun!
- School Bites – vampire schoolgirls are on the run!
- Annyseed – vampire schoolgirls …um … need some sun?
- Juliette: Worst Vampire Ever – vampire schoolgirls something something hot cross buns.
- Abandon: First Vampire – the vampire Lara Croft.
- Blood Bound – a vampire girl and her dog.
- Danielle Dark – real vampire women of Indianapolis!
- Last Res0rt – space furry vampires.
- My Immortal – vampire schoolgirls being handed a gun! By Lord Voldemort!
To coin a phrase that a famed mathematician of vampiric descent once said: “Nine! Nine
webcomics about vampire women! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!” *thunder, lightning*
So what did we learn from this experience?
Vampire women — despite doing creepy things like breaking into your house, talking to shrubbery, playing in reality shows, and eating Count Chocula drenched in human blood — are no different than you or me. They have urges, dreams, and a nasty habit of living for up to two to three millennia. Get to know your vampire women. There are many kinds. They range from schoolgirls to girls who go to school. In the best case scenario, befriending your local vampire can win you a powerful ally in the inevitable vampire armageddon. But, if all else fails, go ahead an stake them through the heart.
So where does El Santo go now?
Shall I do battle with mummies?
The Diabolical Axe?
More vampire women?
Perhaps all of them at once?
Only time will tell, mi amigos. Until next time, viva la raza.
A couple of shout outs to a couple of webcomics I had considered covering but for some reason or other didn’t make the cut:
- Bite Me! – This famous webcomic by Dylan Meconis deals with a group of vampires who live during the French Revolution. While the cover does show a vampire woman waving the French flag to lead the revolt, it turns out that this webcomic was more of an ensemble piece. The ironclad rule that I set for myself must not be broken!
- Youngbloods – I know what you’re thinking, but no… this isn’t that one superhero comic where beefy guys with no feet have names like “Badrock” and “Riptide.” This does, in fact, feature a vampire woman. There aren’t many webcomics featuring Black characters in the main character role. There are even fewer webcomics with a predominantly African American cast. Which is why Youngbloods caught my eye: it featured a young Black girl in the inner city caught up in a violent vampire gang war. I only found out about it this week, though, and at 188 pages I didn’t think I’d be able to read through the whole webcomic before October was through.
Who’s That Girl?
If you were wondering who the gal in my makeshift “El Santo vs. The Vampire Women” banner was,
wonder no longer. She is wrestling valet Shelly Martinez. When Shelley was in the indies, she went as “Halloween Barbie,” who I assumed was a vampire. I never watched her in action the, so I can’t confirm or deny, though. WWE fans remember her as the vampire Ariel, who debuted as a valet to Kevin Thorn. It’s this gimmick that’s being portrayed in the banner pic. She was also seen in TNA Wrestling playing the part of Salina, who was not a vampire. Recently, she quit that role to star in some Italian movies. Wrestling star and movie star? Sounds like she’s having a very El Santo career.
… thank you, everyone, for checking out the “El Santo vs. The Vampire Women” series. I’d like to think I introduced quite a few of the lesser known webcomics out there for folks who are in the mood for horror… even though most of the time it was the lighter side of horror. It’s an experiment I wouldn’t mind repeating again.
Interestingly, while searching out comics featuring vampire women, I ran across a comment on Websnark where the poster mentioned that he was surprised that there weren’t many vampire comics. That was probably true when he posted back in 2007. Nowadays, though, we got vampire comics coming out the wazoo! And with vampire in media going through a huge resurgence, there’s probably more to come.
And well, since this is Halloween, here’s a bonus video. I’d considered posting the trailer for the movie “Santo vs. The Vampire Women.” However, luchador movies are actually very difficult to watch, even for fans of bad movies like myself. The trailer was just a bunch of vampire women slowly emergine from their coffins and blinking menacingly. It’s very appropriate for this month’s theme, but it’s also very boring.
Trust me… this video is much more awesome by several magnitudes. It features luchadors (namely La Parka, the overweight luchador who dresses up as a skeleton), sexy women, and the Thriller (complete with Michael Jackson impersonator):
Danielle Dark, a webcomic by Jay Bradley, starts with our title character leaving the romantic, scenic, and culturally inventive city of San Francisco for a city that’s pretty much the polar opposite: Indianapolis. And with how well the Colts are doing, who can blame her? And, uh … there’s the Indy 500? (Holy crap, I just realized a racecar driving vampire on the Indy circuit would be a great idea for a webcomic!)
Danielle must move because if she stays in one place too long, someone might notice that she doesn’t age and you can only use the “plastic surgery” excuse so many times (though I’d think that would apply more to SoCal than the Bay Area). And with the emergence of Web 2.0, she has to be more vigilant about secrecy than ever.
Danielle however is taking a risk going to Indianapolis because she’s been there before. There’s a chance she might run into someone who recognizes her. But the city also has old friends. She runs into an couple of long-lived witch acquaintances at a Warlock’s Coffee (snarf snarf), where carrying a punch card means you are one of the damned. These witches practice White Magic, which makes them the Jedis of the haunted community. There’s Berniece, who is 470 years old and Talia, who’s 650 years old, takes Danielle in, and wears unholy gobs of Tammy Faye Baker clown make-up.
While not as old — compared to her friends, Danielle is young at 150 years — Indianapolis’ ties are strengthened by powerful memories. Once upon a time, she grew up tall and she grew up right as an Indiana girl on an Indiana night. This was the city where she was first turned into a vampire. This was the city where her husband was murdered.
Most practitioners of vampire fiction have deal with a sticky situation: how do you make vampires sympathetic when they’re murderers, cannibals, and rapists? Most sidestep the issue completely by creating vampires who prefer chocolates, vegetables, or synthetic blood substitutes. Others have their vampires drink prepackaged blood or emphasize that their victims don’t really die. And then there’s the ones whose vampires acknowledge that they can’t control their hunger, but devote their lives to hunting down and destroying their own kind, Daywalker style.
Then there’s the rare ones who write their vampires act exactly like how they should traditionally behave: demonic creatures who kill with neither pity nor remorse. Not surprisingly, the protagonists of these tales are pretty much the most despicable characters around. But hey, you’ve at least gotta credit Blood Bound for pulling no punches.
Before I start, I should tell you that, in all likelihood, Blood Bound is some sort of fetish comic. All the links in this review should be assumed Not Safe For Work. Also, Not Safe for Children. Now, I’m not exactly sure what fetish is being addressed here, but there’s a lot of boobies, one instance of a girl getting chained up naked and whipped, a few scenes where guys get humped to death, and one or two images of anthropomorphic-dog-on-woman action.
RKB at the Pigs of the Industry blog wrote a review of LaMorte Sisters, a Zuda instant winner by Tony Trov, John Zito, and Christine Larsen. How does one become an instant winner, anyway? The Webcomic Overlook suspects copious amounts of booze and incriminating photos of Ron Perazza with a lampshade were involved.
This comic has passed my notice mainly because it’s 8 pages with not much dialogue. Girl gets bit by vampire with pointy Gollum teeth, guy in a knight outfit comes to the rescue, knight whisks girl away with a witty quip … BONG … LOST. Er, I mean LaMorte Sisters. If it helps, I think the story does show plenty of promise, and the art, as most everyone has observed, is better than what you’d find in Black Cherry Bombshells (a Tony Trov and John Zito joint). There’s just not much to go on right now.
RKB also writes:
Do the girls at vampire school have to wear those uniform skirts?
So, here’s how the tally at The Webcomic Overlook stands:
- Eerie Cuties – Yes.
- School Bites – Not shown yet, but promo art says Yes.
- Annyseed – Yes.
- Juliette: Worst Vampire Ever – Cocktail dress present, but not school uniform. No.
So the answer is “Yes” if you’re dealing with the species of chibi vampires. Zuda vampires run a higher chance of not wearing miniskirts. Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing is up to the reader.