Earlier this week, I credited Cracked.com for jumpstarting the readership of the very excellent Daisy Owl. Now comes the yang to that ying. That magazine is not quite the greatest arbiter of good taste. Eventhough I’m almost certain that its readership is composed of 90% nerds, the humor can best be described as “fratboyish.” Which, in a sense, means that Fatawesome, a recent recepient of Cracked.com’s seal of approval, is a better representative of everything that Cracked stands for.

But what does that mean, exactly? Cracked is actually pretty good from time to time — the internet equivalent of junk food. Is Fatawesome the Angus burger and fries of webcomics?

Fatawesome
Fatawesome is primarily a “sketch comedy group,” and they release videos of their “comedy acts” on their “site.” I clicked on the first video, a little skit called “Fight Like Jackie Chan,” and I gotta say: guys, getting an engineering degree is still an option. I’m not sure there’s that big a demand for high school pep-rally skits.

Now, on to the comic itself. I won’t lie to you: some strips can inspire a little chuckle. I thought the best was a riff on the infamous Superman catchphrase, which I’m pretty sure has been done before but hadn’t looked quite as goofy. But there are only about four or five good ones. Everything else? Unilaterally awful.

Most of the gags are jokes that I imagine even Friedberg and Seltzer would find too stupid to put in their “[fill in the blank] Movie” cinema series. For example, there’s one comic where a kid is putting leaves in a plastic bag. He sees a hole in the bag. Can you guess what happens next? If you guessed “drop trow and mount the bag like a horny teenager”, you win a LIFETIME OF SHAME! Yes, Fatawesome is the sort of comic where simply implying male genitalia is COMEDY GOLD.

Outside of the juvenile humor that even a preteen would probably roll their eyes, at, there’s the strips that come off as bad Far Side jokes and bad Perry Bible Fellowship jokes. In other words, Fatawesome represents the low water point of comedic creativity. I posted a comic from Drew’s Toothpaste for Dinner where he implies how webcomic writers just rip jokes off The Simpsons, and it’s never rung more true than it does now. Yet Fatawesome manages to set the bar even lower with its bloody awful art. Seriously, the comic would’ve been less embarrassing if the artist had used one of those automatic webcomic generators that makes everyone look like background characters from South Park.

There are several people in this world that are both fat and awesome: Santa Claus, Bobaloo from I Survived a Japanese Game Show, chef Mario Batali, Dom DeLuise, and King Hippo to name a few. The Fatawesome crew owes all these magnificent people a supersized apology for sullying their reputations.

Rating: 1 star (out of 5).

To the surprise of no one, John Allison is ending his long-running Scary Go Round (reviewed here). From the post on his blog:

This is a brief announcement to say that Scary Go Round will be ending in September. The eighth collection will be the last. “Goodbye” is the final story. I’m sure a lot of you had worked this out already.

If your claw-like fingers are rending your clothes to rags as we speak, I would ask you to be calm. I have a new project in mind and, like the transition from Bobbins to Scary Go Round back in 2002, it won’t all be new, all different. I could probably have got away with making the change with no fanfare at all and kept the name the same. But there were a few reasons that I decided not to.

…

I don’t want to talk about my new project yet as it would spoil the current story, but you can rest assured that there will be plenty that you recognise about it. I’m not sure about the exact end date of Scary Go Round, and there may be something transitional in between, but expect no interruption in service.

Go gently into the night, Scary Go Round! Among the reasons he’s ending his comic is that he wants an fresh, new jumping point for beginning readers. A pretty wise move, if you ask me: some comics have gone on so long that only the diehard fans can understand the latest entries.

I thought Scary Go Round had the snazziest title in webcomics. It rolls off the tongue. And you can apply it to anything! (The comic itself was rarely scary or a merry-go-round.) Here’s to hoping that his next project will have a similarly pleasant moniker.

So will we get a fresh new start and have the previous characters trickle in again, a la zombie Shelley Winters? Or will Allison flesh out some of the more minor SGR characters, like that stupid fish guy? Or will there be a more disciplined focus on totally new characters?

And give a decent resolution to Erin Winters already, John Allison! If you’ve thought I’ve forgotten, I can assure you that I have not!

(h/t to Fleen)

And now your Aishwarya Rai Tasteful Picture of the Day. Did you know that Ms. Rai originally studied to be an architect? It’s true!

Just for fun, I looked up my site over at alexa.com. Apparently, 39% of you readers, the highest percentage by nationality, are from Canada (vs. only 25% American … Yankee scum!) This is actually pretty unique. I poked around the other webcomic-related sites, and most had a solidly American majority. I don’t know why this is. I’m American, though I’ve pretty much spent all my life in cities not two hours from the Canadian border.

But I think it’s pretty fantastic!

Thank you, my Canadian brethren!

In return, I have to say that hockey is the manliest of sports, Tim Horton’s is the tastiest of fast food breakfasts, Blackberrys are awesome, and Bret Hart was the greatest wrestler of all time.

This guy's not far behind.

And a big hello to the apparently 21% of you from India. You’re only 4% away from surpassing the Americans! Don’t force me to put a bunch of Aishwarya Rai pictures up on this site. I’ll do it.

Finally, all rise for the Canadian National Anthem.

Boy, there must be something in the air this month because a lot of people are sure mad about webcomics!  Maybe I should change this week’s entry to The Annoy of Webcomics, amirite?  (Double finger click.) Anyway, here are a few salty items that might make you think that there might be some speedbumps in the new medium.

• What The Hell People starts off with a recent Lore Sjoberg post about criticism care of Wired.com. (Excerpt: “It’s important to let people know what parts of your work you won’t change, so they won’t bother criticizing it. For instance, you might say: ‘I’m writing an original story about a Jebi knight named Lucas Starwalker who fights an evil imperial overlord named Darthon Vaderon who turns out to actually be his father. I’m not going to change the plot, the setting, the characters or the names, but aside from that let me know if there’s anything I can do to make my story even more awesome!’”)He applies its words of wisdom to webcomics. Its concluding words:
  

  The Gutter Snipe, in its response to my post, noted that “aesthetics are not laws”–rather, aesthetic standards are now, as ever, in flux. That much is true. But I fear for the future in which our aesthetic standards reward laziness, accept pettiness and hold sacrosanct the lowest common denominator. You are no Cezanne, so don’t make subjectivity into your personal aegis.

• Everyone’s offering tips for webcomic newbies! One of them is Hey! Look! Comics!, that offers 20 free tips for webcomic beginners.
  

  Use a blaring, ugly background, so your reader’s eyes get diverted to and stay on the comic! If your comic is taller than the screen, only have the navigation buttons above it OR below it, but not both! Use an intentionally confusing drop-down archive system so readers will be forced to look at a bunch of your comics before they find the one they’re looking for! If you can, use complex, “page turn simulation” animation between pages to give the feel of a real book- don’t worry if it compresses your image a bit small or makes the page slow to load, the effect is SO WORTH IT!

  Will do, E!

• Jackson Ferrell does an interview in comic form with Unwinder of Unwinder’s Tall Comics. Somehow the discussion ends with them talking about Shredded Moose. Moral of the story: if you want to totally kill a conversation, TALK ABOUT SHREDDED MOOSE.
• Now for my first sarcasm-free entry: Webcomics.com relaunches!  In one of the newer entries, Nathan Foreman takes a look at the ages old debate of art vs. writing.  Who wins?  Who loses?  And will there be a rematch?
• In just regular comic/TV show news, Brian K. Vaughan has left the Lost writing staff! To be honest, I was much more a fan of Paul Dini and (yes, it shocks me too) Jeph Loeb’s contributions.  BKV got too… cosmic.  (Not that I still didn’t enjoy Seasons 4 & 5.) Who will be replacing the Y: the Last Man writer?  My money’s on Stan Lee.
• Meanwhile, Pigs of the Industry takes a look at Sin Titulo and doesn’t like the Lost-like mystery aspects much.  To wit:
  

  I don’t think Lost advances much if anything in their going off in all possible plot point directions. I also don’t think they have a clue how it’s all really going to end. No road map to the words “THE END”. I don’t [think] ST is that bad off about direction, but all those new narratives just slow things down.

  Maybe there’s a roadmap now that Stan Lee’s in charge!

• I haven’t read the comic yet, but Delos of ArtPatient did an expose on M.I.M.E.S. in his What Did I Learn feature. Supposedly, the heroes are silent … which is just enough to pique my interests. Flailing my arms wildly like I’m in an invisible box over here.
• I Am Legend reviews Annyseed. It’s about a vampire girl who looks like a goth with black hair and two ponytails. Which … pretty much describes any goth girl portrayed in pop culture. Including that one chick from NCIS.
• Why in the world do we see, anyway? Sounds like a fairly goofy question, until you realize that our vision is far more attuned than what simple evolution would require. Do we define certain colors as baseline? Do two eyes give us a sort of X-ray vision? Did our alphabet evolve from things we observe in nature? Let the Wall Street Journal walk you through the particulars in their book review of “The Vision Revolution.”

Online, Cracked has been going through a lengthy process to distance itself from it’s dismal and historical reputation of being the poor man’s Mad Magazine. The efforts, I think, have been largely successful. When you think Cracked these days, you think less of “magazine that also does comic movie parodies but not quite as funny or creative as Mad” and more of “Top 7 List of Trivia that makes you feel all smart and knowledgeable, although generally the information is pretty worthless and the only reason you read it was because you liked seeing the words ‘Max Planck’ and ‘badass’ together.”

Well, that’s not completely true. There’s also “Top 7 list of things where we can laugh about other people’s cultures,” “awkward YouTube sketches that used to be aired on public access channels,” and “photoshop contests that are not as quite as funny or creative as SomethingAwful’s Photoshop Phridays.”

Cracked is also a strong proponent of webcomics. Unlikely as it might sound, the site is starting to become key in introducing webcomics to new audiences outside of the typical circles (e.g. nerdy and verbose blogs like The Webcomic Overlook). Think of it as the funny pages section of your local newspaper. I can’t vouch for the quality, though; some comics, like the recently showcased Fatawesome, have been mind-bogglingly terrible.

However, sometimes Cracked strikes gold. The site and the members of its forum are partially responsible for the publicity of at least one decent webcomic. It’s the subject of today’s Webcomic Overlook review, Ben Driscoll’s Daisy Owl.

According to an interview conducted by CBR’s Robot 6, Daisy Owl began life on the Cracked.com forums. (Are forums a good way to test-market your comic? I don’t have a definite answer, but I give a tentative “yes” … if the forum isn’t filled with “everything’s great” enablers.) The comic got a huge boost from Anthony “Nedroid” Clark, who drew a fan art of one of the characters. (I reviewed Nedroid’s comics here and here. Also, his Bad Webcomics were the inaugural webcomic feature on Cracked). One thing lead to another, and soon Daisy Owl landed a prominent feature on the Cracked.com front page. Sitewise, Daisy Owl leaves much to be desired. There’s no About page, no list of characters… there isn’t even a credit on the strip telling you that the comic is, in fact, created by Ben Driscoll.

The title takes its name from one its characters, a young girl named Daisy Owl. She is easily identified by her thick glasses, deadpan attitude, and the big daisy stuck in her bonnet. She’s also very smart, what with knowing the biggest number and all. Despite her ambitions in mad science, overall she’s a very practical kind. I imagine if a Daisy Owl cartoon were ever made, she’d be voiced by Sarah Vowell.

Her brother, Cooper, is not as intelligent, but no less curious. He’s your typical boy, playing with little boy toys like stuffed bears and plastic dinosaurs … only stuffed bears must be put through the perils of experimental medical treatments and the dinosaurs get repurposed in a morality play regarding misconceptions about Industrial Revolution .

Together they attempt to put together new inventions and use their vivid imaginations to infuse their playthings with mad science. They live in a world very similar to Charles Schultz’s Peanuts. You know how Lucy would be running a lemonade stand that gave out psychiatric advice for a nickel? And in the back of your mind you’d be wondering, “What would a kid without any sort of college degree know about psychiatry?” Daisy and Cooper play in a world that’s intelligent for their age, yet are unable to completely grasp the concept or separate it completely from the world of their playthings.

Long story short: it’s cute!

Their dad is Mr. Owl. He’s an actual owl. Despite some physical resemblances between Daisy and her dad, the two are not blood relations. No, Daisy and Cooper were adopted. Mr. Owl is a bit of an aging hipster, buying ironic shirts and ashamedly watching Princess Bride well into middle age (not that there’s anything wrong with that, as his friends try to convince him). He’s also not as wise has his owlish reputation would suggest, having to be reminded constantly how raising humans is not quite the same as raising owls. It’s sort of an endearing look into the life of a befuddled single dad.

The story initially revolved around the Owl kids, but as Daisy Owl progressed, the spotlight seems to have shifted to Steve, Mr. Owl’s old pal from high school. And why not? The jokes about Steve seem to feel more natural.

Steve is a laid back dude who, at the beginning, is looking for a job but eventually is gainfully employed at The Guild of Honey. He is also a bear … a polar bear to be specific. This leads to several parallels on race. Bears, for example, have restaurants that serve ethnic fare where “they spray you with a hose and throw salmon on your face.” Bears are also subject to unique physiological considerations, too, which means Steve has to figure out how to beat that urge to hibernate.

In Daisy Owl, bears are sometimes the subject of bigotry from humans. There’s even some casual racism going on among their own species (like when Steve’s brother, a grizzly, feels hesitant when he’s invited to a polar bear party). Steve’s own parents, a traditional couple with some bigoted views, are very concerned when Steve mingles with people of other species, including a certain owl, perhaps? Yet Steve, like most of us, takes it all with a shrug of his shoulders. Life’s complicated as it is, y’know?

As heavy-handed as this might sound, Mr. Driscoll deftly treats everything with a light touch. Rather than preach, these sorts of dilemmas instead build the character of the Daisy Owl world. As Ben says in his interview,

If I were a lazy writer, I’d use their non-traditional situation as a soapbox and make lame political comics. I’ve resisted that temptation so far. You have no idea how hard that was during the election.

Besides, Daisy Owl is, above all, pleasantly surreal. Steve’s job at The Guild of Honey fills a good portion of the weirdness quotient. It’s a ridiculous corporation that puts honey at the center of everything. Some of the best jokes in Daisy Owl stem from Steve temporarily filling in for the Queen Bee. Other jokes revolve around weird and unlikely honey-based inventions like the honey laser.

Not that an owl with two adopted kids and Steve have a monopoly on weirdness. Why does Steve’s brother have a not-quite-magical wizard for a roommate, anyway?

Weirdness is so prevalent that you could start wondering about some of the incongruities in the world of Daisy Owl. Like why do sentient animals still get treated like objects by humans? I mean, in a world where anthropomorphic characters exist on a fairly equal footing, why would they still get mistaken for discount novelty objects?

Stylistically, Daisy Owl will always get compared to the popular Achewood (reviewed here). The minimalistic compositions, the square dialogue boxes and no-nonsense fonts, the black and white format with the gray shading, thie simple panel layouts, and the character designs look somewhat similar. With “Haunting Rememberance of a Roadside Rest Stop”, Daisy Owl even imitates how Achewood sometimes forces your brain to fire synapses from left side to the right side as the strip switches to an all prose format.

Where Daisy Owl differs significantly is the mood. Achewood warns you ahead of time, what with that cat in the thong, that it’s going to enter some fairly adult territory. Daisy Owl, on the other hand, is fun, pleasant, and almost family friendly. The comic progress at the gentle ambiance of a Peanuts strip or Calvin & Hobbes. Jokes aim for a fairly dry conclusion rather than anything wild or shocking, like a strip where Daisy recounting a dream she had about the History Channel, which ends with a very understated final panel.

Notice I said “almost family friendly.” The most risque the comic gets is a plotline where Steve gets offered some weed. Admittedly, it’s fairly tame, but, depending on your moral compass, it’s probably something you don’t want to show kids under 12.

Anyway, Daisy Owl is a highly enjoyable webcomic that always, always, always leaves a smile on your face at the end. It’s actually quite fitting that Nedroid would help promote it; both creators make cute comics that don’t come off as cloying. There’s a bit of a plot, but following it is not a necessity. This is a traditional comic strip through and through, but modernized and updated for the new millennium through fresh eyes of a creator who remembers why we loved comic strips in the first place.

Final Grade: 5 stars (out of 5).

Tell me if you’ve ever found yourself in this situation. You’re at home from school and cracking open your history assignment. Tonight, you have to read Chapter 32 (pages 534-610) on the American Revolutionary War. Midway through reading about the Battle of Bunker Hill, you throw your hands up in the air.

“I can’t read this anymore!” you say. “It’s so borrrrring! There’s got to be a better way to bring the American Revolutionary War to life! Preferably with furries!”

Let me tell you friends: now there’s a way! That’s why, this Fourth of July, The Webcomic Overlook unfurls the Stars and Stripes, fires up “American the Beautiful” (Ray Charles version), and takes you to a world where Redcoats and Minutemen shed blood to determine the fate of the nation. Just in time for both the nation’s birthday and — weirdly enough — AnthroCon, it’s the Revolutionary War … with cats! That’s right, the Webcomic Overlook turns its patriotic eye to Loyalty & Liberty, a webcomic by Tamara “Meezer” Clarke (with editors Shane Clarke and Dave Ireland).

The Loyalty & Liberty site posts an admirably noble mission statement:
“It’s [sic] first goal is to educate ages 13 and up about 18th century life, conflicts before, with in [sic] and the aftermath of the American War of Independence.” I sympathize. The Revolutionary War is one that few people really don’t give two figs about. The men dress up like metros, what with their spiffy uniforms and their powdered wigs. The ladies look like they should be churning butter all day. There’s no sense of epic sacrifice like the Civil War or cool military tech like in World War II or national ennui like the Vietnam War.

The comic revolves around tensions between Loyalists and Revolutionaries in the years before the Revolutionary War. Ms. Clarke doesn’t seem to take sides. There are nice guys and huge insufferable jerks on the British side, and there are nice guys and huge insufferable jerks on the American side.

But let’s get to the most unavoidable feature of Loyalty & Liberty: everyone’s a cat. Now, there’s nothing wrong with re-enacting history with felines. Lackadaisy did it, and I gave that comic 5 stars … twice! Replacing humans with cats does have the potential to make the story more visually appealing. You can be temporarily amused during the slower scenes, because … hey, kitties carrying guns? That’s ADORABLE!

Unfortunately, Loyalty & Liberty makes a crucial misstep.

Its cats are terrifying.

These aren’t the good kind of cat people, the one one where the girls have pointy ears and tiny incisors and an attitude to match. I think it’s safe to say that the cats of Loyalty & Liberty reside in some sort of Cat Uncanny Valley. If Garfield lies on one end of the spectrum and Lackadaisy lies on the other end of the spectrum, then Loyalty & Liberty lies directly in the nadir. I have no way to verify my hunch, but I think Ms. Clarke arrived at the character designs for her cats by dressing them up in Revolutionary War regalia (and, in some cases, stuffing them in dresses), taking hundreds of pictures (as cat owners are wont to do), and capturing the results on paper.

How else to explain how very creepy and unnatural all these cats look? They stare out at the reader with their beady eyes, no doubt with malice in their hearts. It doesn’t matter what these characters are saying or doing. The emotionless cat faces dominate the entire webcomic. It doesn’t matter if these characters are engaging in a debate about illegal search and seizure or asking for someone’s hand in marriage. The cat faces dominate all.

And it’s not just the faces. Ms. Clarke decided it was a good idea to portray accurate feline anatomy as well. I admire the devotion to realism. However, in real life, cats also don’t walk around on two legs. If they did, it would look bizarre as hell, just like it does here. They also don’t have opposable thumbs. So why be a stickler with the anatomy? As it is, all the characters seem to be terribly disjointed. Their faces don’t match the bodies, which look stiff as corpses anyway.

As a result, Loyalty & Liberty reaches the surreal levels of a Heironymus Bosch painting. Imagine, if you will, cats in Redcoat uniforms, standing in single file, with their damning eyes staring out at you. It’s exactly as unsettling as it sounds. I think I may have whimpered a little. Ms. Clarke also mentions that the battle scenes won’t be shy about the violence. I imagine that these will be the most disturbing images of all, liable to drive the unguarded mind into the depths of insanity.

Yet, I’m grateful for these precious little monstrosities, because without them there would be nothing about Loyalty & Liberty to remark on. No one ever really does anything. There’s a lot of soapboxing going on and threats that people might be called to action, but nothing ever comes of it. Loyalty & Liberty pulls of the neat trick of actually being less engaging than a textbook about the Revolutionary War. There really is no plot to speak of, just a string of character moments seemingly written for the cosplayers — excuse me, “living historians” — who get paid to freak you out at Colonial Williamsburg.

If you manage to wrench your eyes away from the ungodly faces to the speech balloons, you’re greeting by discussions that go something like this:

“Only you, Edward Marble, would describe a laugh like that as enthusiastic! She cleared a room at the last ball we attended in Charleston with a giggling fit. I could not handle that sound in my quarters. Then again, I’ve only spent a total of a month with my wife, including the time of first meeting her!”

That’s right, no matter who’s talking, everyone launches into their life story. Now, realistic eighteenth-century dialogue is hard to comprehend. There were no recording devices back in the day other than ink and a hollow feather. All we have to go on, really, are letters and journals and, perhaps, Charles Dickens. (And that guy was getting paid by the word, mind you.) Yet, I imagine that, due to the fact there was only one speaker, these were more wordy and descriptive than everyday banter. Even if it does turn out folks were incurably chatty, it still comes off idiosyncratic to modern ears.

Here’s another line of dialogue from a distraught lover that in no way sounds like it was translated from a bad Spanish soap opera:

“STOP IT! Stop saying this! You won’t even give Edward a chance! You’d rather have me unhappy for the rest of my life with that miserable doctor’s son, who is the most boring man I have ever met! I have to be unhappy so may family can be content!”

The best part of this scene by the way? The unintentionally hilarious payoff of seeing a cat cry.

Here’s the big question, though: will these stories get 13-year-olds to learn about American history? Is it enough to wrench them away from their Nintendo Wiis, their Twittering, and their Facebooks? Very unlikely. Liberty & Loyalty is too weird and too confusing for anyone to follow.

A better way to do the American Revolution? Make it all manga. Think about it! A brooding hero in “Swamp Fox” Francis Marion, a hyperactive trigger-happy demolition expert in Molly Pitcher, Betsy Ross as that shy brunette who likes to sew, and a whole host of bishie statemen at the First Continental Congress. 1776: tailor-made for manga! Kids love it. Hipsters will appreciate the irony. It’s a win win!

Rating: 1 star (out of 5)

Canadiana

Happy Canada Day to the neighbors up North! Personally, I’m celebrating by watching CBC, saying “eh,” and punching out a Timbits hockey player! OK, not that last one. Don’t sic your Mounties on me.

Check out some reviews of webcomics created by prominent Canadian creators:

• Savage Chickens review
• Last Blood, Sore Thumbs, & Wickedpowered reviews (with Canadian artist Owen Gieni)
• VG Cats review
• Subnormality review
• The Zombie Hunters review
• Menage a 3 review
• Fey Winds review
• Earthsong review
• The Abominable Charles Christopher review
• The Kate Beaton review

I’m sure I missed a few up there; just rattling a few of the creators off the top of my head. Of course, no list of prominent Canadian webcomic creators would be complete without mentioning Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics.

Keep up the good work, you creative, bacon-loving Francophones you!

Back in the early days of this site, I once ran afoul of Dave Cheung fans. The drama stemmed from a small comment I made about John Solomon’s return:

I just finished reading his “Chugworth” review, and … what can I say? The webcomic deserved John Solomon.

This managed to touch off some colorful replies from the creator and his fans. Words were said. Tears were shed. Yet, in the end, I finally conceded a tiny point. I hadn’t read all of Chugworth Academy.

Really, I’d only read the 20+ pages on the review after all (written by Solomon associate Lilith Esther), and, while it seemed like a good sample, those few incompetent, atrocious, and borderline racist panels might not be representative of the 300+ pages that Mr. Cheung put out. Who knows? Perhaps those 280 other pages dealt with Mr’s Cheung’s personal relationship with his Lord and Savior. I have no idea! I’d be a blind fool to left a few unspeakably awful panels color my entire opinion.

Still, I vowed that one day, some day, I would review Chugworth Academy in vengeance. That day will most likely never come. Chugworth stopped updating last year, and I don’t typically review out-of-date comics. Instead I’m reviewing Dave Cheung’s brand spanking new webcomic, Boss Noodle.

Incidentally, there’s a very good chance that you’ve run into Mr. Cheung’s work before. Dave Cheung is the same guy who drew a whiny webcomic featuring Jade Raymond* giving a blowjob to nerds in a ridiculous case of impotent nerd rage. A total class act, this guy!

Hilariously, Something Awful got caught up in the legal backlash. While I’m not a fan of such a frivolous lawsuit, I have to wonder why they didn’t just go after Dave Cheung instead. Strangely, it may have been this very lawsuit that caught the attention of the YWIBAYSFB people (SA forum goons all), which is why Lilith Esther railed on Chugworth Academy. Which lead to me reviewing Boss Noodle. As the old saying goes, there’s no such thing as bad publicity. I’m a far bigger chicken than Lowtax, so I’ll not be posting a link to the offending comic here. However, if you want to see said comic (for educational purposes, of course): go to Google, click on the image search, turn Safesearch off, and type “jade raymond blowjob.”

I realize I’m being particularly salty today, so I’m going to say something nice about Mr. Cheung: I do like his art. Above all, I like how he colors. The shading, which suits the sturdy character designs, makes everything seem more solid and rounded than your typical manga-style webcomic. Adding to the aesthetic are how muted the colors are, which don’t go many gradients beyond the skintones. The body proportions are held in check, though the smooth textures do remind you that this is still a cartoon you’re looking at. His character designs, unimaginative and derivative as they may be, are still very eye-catching.

That said, Mr. Cheung sure loves drawing these characters without their clothes on. To be fair, though, he’s an equal opportunity provider of cheesecake.

The story is basically Kill Bill lite for the Gurren Lagann crowd. The first scene shows two pals watching Maury (which I had no idea was still running), having a jolly good time. They’re trading quite the witty banter with lines like “I ain’t indulging in yo whacked out fantasies!” Jolly good! (I don’t want to be too critical here, but doesn’t that sound suspiciously like what old people think kinds these days sound like?)

When, hello, some short skirted strumpet with no sense of personal space has barged into their fine viewing party! Seriously, though, if you were going to go around delivering dropkicks to people you don’t like, is a plaid miniskirt the most sensible choice of apparel? I know a lot of folks have a Go Go Yubari fetish, but it was Beatrix Kiddo in her nifty Bruce Lee tracksuit that was decapitating heads, taking names, and generally owning the Crazy 88 (one of whom being the aforementioned Go Go Yubari).

Robin, incidentally, looks far more like a White Stripes-listening hipster girl than an assassin. For some reason, she seems to be rolling her eyes and smirking at all times, like she just heard someone say that Nickelback was the world’s greatest band or something. That’s a master of disguise for you!

Our katana-wielding warrior throws some weak punches, which somehow causes her enemies to contort into uncomfortable shapes. She says she’s looking for someone. Perhaps somebody who gunned her down on her wedding day? Robin also works with some guy who’s the standard anime loner. You know, the kind that stands around on street corners, lights a cigarette, and mutters a single, solitary word (like “cold“) while swooning fangirls draw yaoi fanfiction about him and Spike Spiegel.

Later, we meet Melody, who looks like that redhead from RahXephon and ten times as annoying. She’s accosted by two mealy-mouthed malcontents with poison in their hearts and rape on their minds. Most attempted rape sequences in comic books have always, always struck me as totally gratuitous. Creators excuse these scenes by claiming, “Well, this is what happens in real life. We’re just art imitating life.” BS. I don’t deny such things happen, but if you wanted to be real, heroes in ridiculous circus outfits don’t swoop in just in time to save the girl, either. After which said girl — all hormonally charged, emotionally vulnerable and eternally grateful — throw herself all over our hero. But that’s what happens in comic books, especially when written by early Image Comic writers and, particularly, Frank Miller. No matter how you cut it, it’s shameless and slightly creepy male fantasy, pure and simple.

Cheung spices the scenario up a little bit by having our bare-legged female hero save the day. (Does having a sexy female hero make the “rescue from rape” scenario more sexy or less sexy? Discuss.) She dispatches the rapists with roughly the same efficiency as when she owned the daytime talk show fans. Predictably, Melody is so grateful that she invites Robin to her home for some hot coffee. (”I meant actual coffee. Not… you know…. I’m not like that! I’m a good girl!” she adds. Yeah, right.)

So the two girls go home and they proceed to have sweet, sweet intercourse. Verbal intercourse. About beverages. Ah yes, Melody isn’t only a good girl, but she’s also a Chatty Cathy. Her diatribe about coffee is in theory both annoying and endearing, yet it gets the former in spades while zero of the latter. Not even attempted rape can keep down Melody’s imdomitable bubbliness! If you’ve ever felt your skin crawl anytime someone’s ever typed “SQUEEE!” online, then Melody will totally flay you with her incessant squealing. It’s like talking to a newborn piglet.

Anyway, Melody asks who Robin is looking for, Robin gets all cagey, and Chapter Three comes to a close. Yup, despite being three chapters long, Boss Noodle is less than thirty pages. It qualifies as a single issue comic book, but three chapters? That’s stretching the definition of “chapter” just a teeny bit. The webcomic leaves many unanswered questions: why is it called Boss Noodle? Is it a brand of ramen? One that preferably comes in the Chili Shrimp flavor? And why does Hartford (population 124,512, second largest city in Connecticut next to Bridgeport) look like Gotham City? I know things haven’t been the same since the Whalers left, but come on!

In the end, Boss Noodle is surprisingly not terrible. Oh, it’s not transcendent, or good, or even adequate (which disqualifies it from my 5, 4, or 3 stars). But it’s not terrible. I do respect what Cheung’s trying to do here. He’s going for a fresh new start. A new set of characters, a new world, and a different narrative technique (drama vs. comedy). Get past the fact that most of the dialogue is unreadable (mainly the parts coming out of Melody’s mouth), and there’s a glimmer of a story. Now, for a samurai adventure comic, there’s far too little action and far too much sitting around. But hey, it’s early yet, and there are still a lot of players to disembowel. As an additional bonus, so far there are no images of Jade Raymond getting a facial from nerds. A vast improvement, in my opinion!

Rating: 2 Stars (out of 5)

* – Jade Raymond also volunteers at LOVE, “one of the leading not-for-profit youth violence prevention organizations in Canada.” Just in case you think all she does is shamelessly shill videogames or appear in stupid Dave Cheung comics.

Xaviar Xerexes of ComixTalk reports on an interesting development in the Harvey Awards: a lot more webcomics are getting the nod this year.

There are a lot of webcomic angles to the list of nominees this year, including the seven nominations for Jeff Kinney’s Diary of A Wimpy Kid (a comic with a webcomic origin) and 10 noninations for John Gallagher’s Buzzboy which also has it origins in an online version.

In the online category, the nominees include three comics on DC’s Zuda website: BLACK CHERRY BOMBSHELLS, HIGH MOON, NIGHT OWLS, plus PVP, and LEAST I COULD DO. Interestingly enough three webcomics from Zuda also received nominations for Best New Series: HIGH MOON, NIGHT OWLS, and SUPERTRON.

Least I Could Do artist Lar deSouza also snagged nominations for Best Cartoonist and in the Special Award for Humor in Comics. David Malki! of Wondermark also got a nod in the Special Award for Humor category and another one in the SPECIAL AWARD FOR EXCELLENCE IN PRESENTATION category for his book WONDERMARK, VOL. 1: BEARDS OF OUR FOREFATHERS (which I own a copy of and agree is absolutely deserving of this recognition).

In the BEST BIOGRAPHICAL, HISTORICAL OR JOURNALISTIC PRESENTATION category HOW TO MAKE WEBCOMICS, by Brad Guigar, Dave Kellett, Scott Kurtz, and Kris Straub received a nomination. In the Best Anthology category, FLIGHT VOLUME 5, edited by Kazu Kibuishi received a nomination.

Isn’t this also the year that Scott Kurtz is MC’ing the awards? Congratulations to all the nominees.

In tribute to the late, great Billy Mays, the Joy of Webcomics will be shouting every line in this week’s installment! It’s zany! It’s crazy! It’s backed by my own personal guarantee! It’s… OK, Billy Mays was the only guy in history who could pull of this schtick, God rest his soul. Still, here’s JOY OF WEBCOMICS!

• Amazing Superpowers needs money for beer!
• If you liked the senses-shattering Garfield Without Garfield, get on board with the next big thing! How about reworking Zits with Better Zits? Why can’t I stop yelling?!?!
• Achewood talks about that other guy who died! And it’s like we all died a little inside! Oh my God I’m 10% zombie now!
• Shaun Manning over at Comic Book Resources takes a look at David Gallaher and Steve Ellis’s High Moon! While I reviewed the comic a while back, I hadn’t caught up with it past the first arc, so it’s interesting to see where the story went from there:
  

  In the first three story arcs of “High Moon,” there are a few interesting shifts, the first being a bit of Western mystery (plus werewolves), then adding some steampunk elements in book 2, and wrapping up with some mysticism/demon fighting, all of which gave Ellis a lot of distinct material to draw. “It’s always a challenge working on ‘High Moon,’ but I am a glutton for punishment,” he said. “While the theme of the Old West and the historical content ties everything together, the stories go in many different directions. There is always something new and cool to draw, whether its demon wolves, multi-eyed bat monsters, giant steam engine golems – it’s always a blast.”

  The upcoming fourth arc of “High Moon” will take its cue from a classic Warren Zevon song, describing the story as “Ah-ooo! Werewolves of London.” “It’s spring of 1891 and Conroy Macgregor is heading to London to find out more about the mystery behind Prescott’s little bottle and the group behind the mysterious symbol on the bottom of the bottle,” Ellis explained. “London in the 1890s has a lot of interesting things for a werewolf to find himself involved in.”

  Not enough exclamation points there, Manning! Go back to playing football! The article also gives a nice glimpse into the working relationship between Zuda Comics and the creators, as well as Ellis’ artistic influences!

• Bengo at The Floating Lightbulb tells us that there’s some sort of HUGE WEBCOMIC CROSSOVER going on! I have honestly never heard of these titles, but that should be no surprise because I am living under a rock! A rock that can look brand new with the power of OxiClean!

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

• Elle Dee is a bigger fan of Gisele Lagace’s post-Penny and Aggie output than I am. So what does she think of Eerie Cuties? See for yourself! All that, and she throws in her opinion of Menage a 3 (reviewed at The Webcomic Overlook here) ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!!

  OK, I’m done now. Well, except for this.