EL SANTO SPEAKS HIS MIND: A SHORT PLAY

[Setting: A featureless blue room. Or perhaps it is outdoors, and that's the night sky. El Santo enters, tentatively.]

El Santo: Hello, my name is El Santo… [fidgets nervously] … and I don’t care much for Ben 10.

[El Santo awaits a dramatic repercussion. None arrives. El Santo continues, emboldened.]

El Santo: Well hot diggity! That felt great! I know twelve-year-olds think Ben 10 is all that, but seriously? It’s friggin’ Dial H for Hero, but stupider. And while I’m at it, let me tell you what I think of the whole Total Drama series….

[Enter a precious street urchin.]

Street Urchin: Cor blimey, are you talkin’ smack about Ben 10? You take that back, mister!

El Santo: Make me, you little snot!

[Street Urchin mounts an FGM-148 Javelin on his shoulder and fires a rocket at El Santo's head. El Santo fails to duck. Upon impact, his head bounces into the air, clears a 12 mile trajectory, and bounces down on the chest of TV's Mark Valley. Mark Valley grimaces, but is otherwise nonplussed as El Santo's head explodes.]

Mark Valley, star of Fox TV series Human Target, looking nonplussed.

Street Urchin: I guess that El Santo … [puts on sunglasses] … was in a little over his head.

Fin.