Webcomics Are Sexy 4: Live Free and Die Sexy
That’s right, folks, it’s time for Webcomics Are Sexy
3 4! (Pfffff… I even used the exact same “Tokyo Drift” joke. Someone shoot me.) Legitimately sexy webcomics have received much acclaim in past years, overcoming the stigma of the sleazy adult shop dirty book. Funny medieval tales and stories about Victorian robot sex machines have crept their way ever so boldly into many people’s “Best Of” lists.
And then there’s everything else.
Incidentally, does anyone here remember Sarah Zero? I panned it back in the day. Despite all that, it turns out that Stef Marcinkowski is a pretty chill dude, and he’s taken the whole criticism in stride.
Anyway, Stef has this event going on: the Valentine’s Day Sex Drive. What’s that all about, ye ask? Apparently, there’s plenty of rules surrounding the thing, but these two are the most important:
- Draw one (or more) of your comic’s characters nude
- Post the image to your website on Valentine’s Day. Your image may be a vote incentive, hidden behind a NSFW button or be proudly displayed on your site’s main page. It’s totally up to you.
Man, drawing dirty comics for Valentine’s Day? That way more risque than the Valentine I remember! You know: candy hearts, Super-Friends Valentines, saints gaining martyrdom after being violently executed, etc. Anyway, the promotion was so damn shameless and gleeful ribald that I couldn’t help but give it a shout-out. If you’re a webcomic creator, and you don’t mind the extra publicity by drawing your characters naked, why not give it a shot?
(And if you do mind, Stef does give you an out: ” In keeping with the spirit of the VDSD, it’s important to deliver what the fans want, but many participants continue to create unexpected, clever and hilarious interpretations of what nude means to them. If you really don’t want to show any naughty bits, you could always creatively cover them up, kinda like that scene in Austin Powers, ha ha. Be true to yourself and your brand, and especially your audience. Have fun!”)
Now, on to Webcomics Are Sexy. What are webcomics finding sexy these days?
WARNING: ALL LINKS FROM HERE ON OUT SHOULD BE CONSIDERED NOT SAFE FOR WORK! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Incidentally, many of these comics were gleaned from Topwebcomics.com. Oh, Topwebcomics.com: apparently an “R” rating is actually a hard “XXX”.
This one probably creeps me out more than any of the other webcomics here. First of all, it’s a photocomic, which already strains the uncanny valley effect. Second, they’re photos of Barbie dolls. Third, most of the female dolls are naked from the waist up. And fourth — and this is key — the dolls are anatomically correct. So somewhere out there, a webcomic creator has a collection of female dolls. He purchased or modified them to be as chestily accurate as possible. And he likes writing stories about them. Which are being read by 8,000 readers.
I’m no stranger to comedy comics based around a weird, water-activated fetish. My introduction to manga was Ranma 1/2, after all. Something similar happens in Slimy Thief. When our main character gets hit by water, she doesn’t turn into a man or a panda or a pig. If any part of her body touches water, it balloons up like some nut allergy. When she gets drenched, she becomes full figured. So this is pretty much the comic for you if your dream girl is Oprah Winfrey.
Of course, if water is just a tad too ridiculous, VDSD participant By the Book has just the thing for you AD&D nerds. Here, bust sizes can fluctuate by rolling up your stats.
The world of Delve is one where reasonable clothes options are never available for Bree, our female elven heroine. Leather fetish wear. Fursuits. Butt windows. And she’s always under the threat of getting eaten. Not, like, the kinky kind either. Like the dipped in batter and getting fried sort of eaten. Fortunately for Bree, she is rescued and it is her attackers who get eaten. Which, I don’t know, makes me hungry for marshmallow peeps for some reason.
This webcomic starts off innocent enough. It’s all about fairies causing mischief! Like some kind of children’s storybook! But then the mischief gets out of control, blowing up to Caligula-like proportions. Dudes growing two wangs! A princess with enchanted hands so she can’t stop touching herself! A man turning into a burly, muscular woman! That same muscular woman having sex with another woman while on top of another man! The queen growing a penis and sodomizing the king! It’s all so out of control that it’s easy to overlook the somewhat reprehesible stuff — like the princess being forced into horniness as a punishment for being a bitch, or the borderline pedophilia as a young 13-year-old prince is transformed into a young man and … well, you got the gist of this comic already. I don’t need to spell it out for you. Bloomin’ Faeries threw me most for a loop, though, when the doughy, kind-hearted maid is transformed into a sexy young lady. When she turns back into her old self, though, the expression on her face is crushingly poignant. What I’m saying is that W. Wondollar is a pretty good artist.
And speaking of good art, there’s Werner Maresta on The Amazing Adventures of Penny Rogers. And who’s Penny Rogers? From the looks of things, she’s a world traveling archaeologist. Also, she’s in desperate need of safety pins. Always falling out of her clothes, she is. And possessor of a parasol that really should have censor bars all over it.
Clearly the greatest webcomic ever.