The Eisner Awards are coming around again, which means it’s time to fire up the Sugarshock-o-meter and make with the predictions! Lest you forget, the Sugarshock-o-meter was named in honor of Sugarshock!, winner of the Eisner’s Best Digital Comic Award and penned by Joss Whedon. Yes, that same Joss Whedon who’s likely swimming in a sea of licensed Marvel merch after the resounding box office take of his Avengers movie, which is currently at $1.4 Billion internationally (putting it at #3 of all time right behind the James Cameron 1-2 punch of Avatar and Titanic).

But remember… we recognized him first! Or, at least, previous to the Avengers.

Every year a five-member panel of judges makes the nominations: librarian Jesse Carp, comic shop owner Calum Johnston, legendary comic book creator Larry Marder, University of Oregon professor Ben Saunders, and probably the most webcomic-friendly member of the panel, fellow comic blogger Brigid Alverson. The nominees are then voted by comic-book professionals, with the results announced at San Diego Comic-Con (held this year between July 12-15).

A disclaimer here: the Sugarshock-o-meter only calculates the chances of whether or not a webcomic is going to win the Best Digital Comic award, not the actual quality of the comic itself. Such is the limitations of technology. Stupid, foolish logic. To get a sense of what I thought of each comic, I’ve included a link to the reviews next to each nominee.

So who does the Sugarshock-o-meter predict will run off with the award? Let’s run the machine and check out the results, shall we?

The webcomic: Outfoxed (reviewed here)

The skinny: A fox outfoxes hunter with the help of a foxy laundry woman. He in turn becomes a foxy guy. Laundress tell him to fox off.

DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!?!?!??!

The X-Factor: With shows like Grimm and Once Upon a Time dominating the airwaves and movies like Snow White and The Avenger Thor hitting the cineplexes, it’s safe to say that fairy tales are totes in. Also, the fox dude looks like Marvel’s Starfox, which may reel in unguarded comic book nerds into reading this story.

The Y-Factor: It’s kinda short, and short stories have been very Eisner friendly recently. Readers may also start wondering whether or not the laundress is being manipulated by the Infinity Gauntlet.

AFI Top 100 Film This Is Most Like: Fiddler on the Roof

Sugarshock-o-meter: 88/100

The webcomic: Sarah And The Seed (reviewed here)

The skinny: Elderly woman Sarah cradles an ominous seed in an allegory to the horrors of child-rearing. And gardening.

The X-Factor: It sorta sets itself up as a horror comic, but it isn’t. Which sorta makes it like a David Lynch production. Remember that scene in Twin Peaks were were see the shaking back of that little person, buzzing like a weird hummingbird, ready to scare your pants off the moment he reveals himself — but when he turns around he’s this funny dude in a leisure suit? This comic is sorta like that. And nerds worship David Lynch.

The Y-Factor: Like Outfoxed, it is a rather short story. They’re the big draws on Reddit, but not necessarily so at Eisner time.

AFI Top 100 Film This Is Most Like: Eraserhead

Sugarshock-o-meter: 90/100

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