One Punch Reviews #50: The Goddamn Panty Brigade

So… do I even need to tell you if you want to check out The Goddamn Panty Brigade? I mean … that title. In the best case scenario, it could be about a regular misfit military unit who wear regular clothes, only some jerk drill sergeant stuck them with the most embarrassing name possible to toughen ‘em up. Or it can be about an all-lady Vietnam commando unit clad only in lacy underthings. Or maybe it’s a whimsical fairy tale about sentient panties. Still, would you be willing to admit to your friends, family, or the public as a whole that you’re the guy (or girl) who reads a webcomic called The Goddamn Panty Brigade?

So who are The Goddamn Panty Bridage? Well, as it turns out … they’re Josie and the Pussycats.

Believe it or not, this is at least the second incarnation of The Goddamn Panty Brigade. The comic got a write-up at the Bad Webcomics Wiki when it was apparently some sort of unholy fusion of FLCL and Tank Girl … and, to his credit, creator Andeh Pinkard took the criticism to heart. The old webcomic got scrapped. The Goddamn Panty Brigade got a hard reboot. It’s now a story about a bunch of girls trying to become idols. In the Clay Aiken sense, not the Kali, Consort of Lord Shiva, sense.

Their band name is The Goddamn Panty Brigade, which is only slightly worse a band name than Cherry Poppin’ Daddies, Hooray For Earth, Cunninlynguists, The Flying Burrito Brothers, Foo Fighters, and Yo Mama’s Big Fat Booty Band. They rise through the idol ranks (at least we’re told that happens … we never see them perform) and they make it all the way to the finals. Things look bad at first, with the girls suddenly getting stage fright, but thanks to the power of beer the girls come out on top thanks to their lewdness. (Which, again, we’re told and not shown.)

They soon learn from Davina Thrills, a representative of Sugardeath Records, that the idol life is “a no holds barred music and magic brawl.” Several student body factions they have to defeat with the power of rock. Wait a minute … this is yet another webcomic “inspired” by Scott Pilgrim, isn’t it? The girls agree to battle these factions, and they do so wearing no pants.

Well… say anything you want, but you can’t blame this webcomic for false advertising.

The four girls who make up The Goddamn Panty Brigade have names, but to be honest they’re incredibly interchangeable because non of the have any traits beyond being incredibly shrill. The shallowness and brashness is meant to be funny. It is not.

And it never makes you actually like any the characters. I’m not exaggerating when I say that the Teen Girl Squad has more personality. There’s a point in the story where two of the girls get zapped away by a Scott-Pilgrim-esque video game effect, and they’re replaced by two bystanders thanks to the intentionally ill-defined rules of battle. But … why should I care about the two girls who disappeared in the first place? The only character in the main cast who shows any shred of personality is the one with the heart-embroidered eyepatch (the cast page says she is tastefully named “Garnet Gutterslut”), and that’s mainly because she yells louder than the other girls.

Rating: 2 stars (out of 5).

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About El Santo

Somehow ended up reading and reviewing almost 300 different webcomics. Life is funny, huh? Despite owning two masks, is not actually a luchador.

Posted on July 28, 2011, in 2 Stars, action webcomic, comedy webcomic, manga style webcomic, One Punch Reviews, The Webcomic Overlook, webcomics. Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. oh man harsh! but its way better than before! :) Thanks for teh 3 seconds of fame, as it were! ^_^

  2. You made a teen girl squad reference, that is good.

  3. Eyepatch girl looks like a amalgamation of the Russian assassin lady from The Venture Brothers and the resident Manic Pixie Girl from Joss Whedon’s Sugarshock comic…

  4. Yikes! First sentence in and I can already tell this is gonna go downhill. The comic title sounds lewd and vapid, yet it doesn’t even have the courtesy to drown us in fanservice to help along the poor excuse for the story.

    Foo Fighters is a bad band name? How dare you, El Santo!?

  5. The title of this comic begged for a Captain Pantoja and the Special Service joke.

  6. I am so bummed that the title hasn’t been used for a roller derby team.

  7. Now I absolutely need a comic about a band trying to rise through the ranks to become consorts of Kali.

  8. The problem with the original, other than it’s shallow vapidness (which is not necessarily something to pass lightly), was it’s unashamed rip of already existing works with little or no substance to back it up. While Andeh may have ditched the tank girl and anime references, he’s traded that shallow premise for one based on a newer one: Scott Pilgrim.
    I think he’s missing the point of the critique. The point is not that he’s creating incredibly bland rips, but that he doesn’t understand what makes the Scott Pilgrim and Tank Girl comics so good to begin with. Here’s a hint: It’s NOT the drawing aesthetic, video game references and legions of ridiculous people your main character has to fight. That’s all the surface aesthetic with nothing else that gives the story depth and meaning.

    • as far as i know “surface aesthetics” refers to “neat” “clean” “messy” and “dirty” how does this give a story depth?

      • It’s all that and more! ;) I apologize I wasn’t too clear, especially since it looks like you caught me making up some terminology. With “surface aesthetics,” I was trying to say that stuff that jumps out at you immediately.

        I think explaining the depth portion is a little tricky, so I’m going to try to give an example as best as possible. I think it’s easy to create artwork where everyone looks incredibly clean or incredibly dirty. It would’ve been easy for Transient Man to fall into either camp. Instead, the art falls somewhere in the middle. The characters are easier to identify as human beings you can relate to (rather than as strange creatures we sometimes see the homeless as). At the same time, the art portrays filth accurately enough so you can experience the conditions that these characters live in. The scenes alternate between worlds that are clean and dirty, but that serves to heighten the squalid living conditions.

        As a result, the reader experiences both sympathy for the characters and the terribleness of their surroundings. But that’s not all! You also get a sense that while their lives may have derailed, they don’t dwell on things to the point of depression. This is also portrayed in the art, where the characters share world-weary smiles through faces that look like they’ve seen a million miles of pavement. That, to me, is depth. We’re never told any of these things explicitly. Instead, the art does the work for us.

        • Aw crap. I thought this was a reply to the Transient Man review. Disregard the above, Andeh. *Sigh* This is what I get for checking on my comments in the worthless WordPress app!

          (I swear to God I used something similar to “surface aesthetic” in the Transient Man review, which is what goofed me up. Dammit dammit dammit.)

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