One Punch Reviews #50: The Goddamn Panty Brigade
So… do I even need to tell you if you want to check out The Goddamn Panty Brigade? I mean … that title. In the best case scenario, it could be about a regular misfit military unit who wear regular clothes, only some jerk drill sergeant stuck them with the most embarrassing name possible to toughen ‘em up. Or it can be about an all-lady Vietnam commando unit clad only in lacy underthings. Or maybe it’s a whimsical fairy tale about sentient panties. Still, would you be willing to admit to your friends, family, or the public as a whole that you’re the guy (or girl) who reads a webcomic called The Goddamn Panty Brigade?
So who are The Goddamn Panty Bridage? Well, as it turns out … they’re Josie and the Pussycats.
Believe it or not, this is at least the second incarnation of The Goddamn Panty Brigade. The comic got a write-up at the Bad Webcomics Wiki when it was apparently some sort of unholy fusion of FLCL and Tank Girl … and, to his credit, creator Andeh Pinkard took the criticism to heart. The old webcomic got scrapped. The Goddamn Panty Brigade got a hard reboot. It’s now a story about a bunch of girls trying to become idols. In the Clay Aiken sense, not the Kali, Consort of Lord Shiva, sense.
Their band name is The Goddamn Panty Brigade, which is only slightly worse a band name than Cherry Poppin’ Daddies, Hooray For Earth, Cunninlynguists, The Flying Burrito Brothers, Foo Fighters, and Yo Mama’s Big Fat Booty Band. They rise through the idol ranks (at least we’re told that happens … we never see them perform) and they make it all the way to the finals. Things look bad at first, with the girls suddenly getting stage fright, but thanks to the power of beer the girls come out on top thanks to their lewdness. (Which, again, we’re told and not shown.)
They soon learn from Davina Thrills, a representative of Sugardeath Records, that the idol life is “a no holds barred music and magic brawl.” Several student body factions they have to defeat with the power of rock. Wait a minute … this is yet another webcomic “inspired” by Scott Pilgrim, isn’t it? The girls agree to battle these factions, and they do so wearing no pants.
Well… say anything you want, but you can’t blame this webcomic for false advertising.
The four girls who make up The Goddamn Panty Brigade have names, but to be honest they’re incredibly interchangeable because non of the have any traits beyond being incredibly shrill. The shallowness and brashness is meant to be funny. It is not.
And it never makes you actually like any the characters. I’m not exaggerating when I say that the Teen Girl Squad has more personality. There’s a point in the story where two of the girls get zapped away by a Scott-Pilgrim-esque video game effect, and they’re replaced by two bystanders thanks to the intentionally ill-defined rules of battle. But … why should I care about the two girls who disappeared in the first place? The only character in the main cast who shows any shred of personality is the one with the heart-embroidered eyepatch (the cast page says she is tastefully named “Garnet Gutterslut”), and that’s mainly because she yells louder than the other girls.
Rating: 2 stars (out of 5).